Holy Crap it's Been a While

I have really sucked at updates and at keeping this blog active. Mostly that is due to a lack of weight loss going on. It also is due to the fact that I am way too busy with work to even have a chance to do anything else.

I actually gained weight since I was last on here. About 20 pounds, which I am not at all proud of, but it happens. I have gotten a major reality check, though. I have been tracking my calories and no wonder I have gained. I am actually surprised I didn't gain more than that.

So, I have been using my knowledge of exercise and food to see what I can come up with. I tried a straight 1500 calorie diet, no exercise. That sucked. When I say sucked I seriously mean I hated every minute of it. My stomach always growled and I felt deprived. Nobody can lose weight that way. I actually ended up doing the stereotypical thing and going on a 4 day binge. I hate myself for it. I hate feeling fat and hating myself for the lack of willpower. I know I am not alone. There has to be a better way.

I think the key to losing weight is to define your own program. I have to be honest. I am never going to give up bread, desserts or sugar. Just isn't going to happen. I wouldn't want to live a life without those things. Obviously your typical diet won't work for me. I started doing some further research into exercising to lose weight. Obviously making major changes to my diet is not going to work.

I have settled on trying something that most experts say won't work. I have a goal to lose about 30 or 40 pounds by December 11th (my brother's wedding). Do the math. That is a lot of weight in a short period of time. Most experts say in order to lose weight and keep it off you have to diet and exercise and to lose no more than 2 pounds a week. Do you guys know the only reason they say that is because their studies show losing weight rapidly is usually related to fad dieting which people can't stick to for the long haul? I am not going into some fad diet. I am doing an exercise only diet.

Now, this is not to say that I won't watch what I eat. I am still tracking calories because the one thing the experts get right is weight is a numbers game. You have to burn more than you eat. that is just reality. I will be tracking calories so I know how much I need to burn. Using my trusty heart monitor I will be tracking my calories burned.

I may not lose 40 pounds in the next 7 weeks, but I do bet I can lose at least 15 to 20. I also bet that I will go down 2 pants sizes. I am using logic and not listening to studies or experts on this anymore. Their methods don't work and that has been proven over and over with each person that gets told they are obese or with each person that fails at a diet. I am going to prove the experts wrong so I can tell them to kiss my (skinny) ass.

It's That Time Again

Every New Year's I swear this will be the year that I get a hot bod and every year before January is even over I have fallen off the wagon. You all know how I have struggled this past year, but 2010 is going to be different. I actually have a goal that goes beyond just losing weight and getting in shape.

By the end of this year I plan to start training as a personal trainer, but I need to be in shape if I ever want that to work out. I am starting my own business in 2011, hopefully as a personal trainer. So, this year is all about preparing for my future career.

Since this is so important I have made a very detailed plan. It is a three step plan. It includes cutting down my pop drinking, drinking more water, specific toning of my arms, cardio workouts, working up to a 5 mile run and yoga. Also, I have a basic eating plan. I know that sounds like a lot - LOL.

My plan is broken into three steps - four month periods to slowly change my lifestyle. I am going to start with part 1 of each goals which includes:

cutting down to 3 pops a day
drinking 32 ounces of water a day
doing 30 minutes of cardio 5 days a week
doing arm training 3 days a week
jogging 1 mile 1 day a week
doing yoga 1 day a week

My eating plan is a basic plan. It is based on just trying to get in the proper amount of servings from each food group. Eating is not really the struggle for me. As you all know, it is my pop drinking.

I have a log book that I have actually been using since November to track my workouts. Now I will track all my goals to ensure I stay on track. I do know that every once in a while I may have to skip a workout or I may mess up, but that is okay. It is all about trying my best. That is my goal this year.

I am hoping to do very good and be able to lose 50 pounds by the end of May. That is about 2 pounds a week, which is very possible if I just stay on track.

Wish me luck and I wish luck to all you who have weight loss goals for 2010. We can do it!!!!

New KFC 395 Meal

The new commercial for the 395 calorie $3.95 meal got me thinking. How would our eating habits change if the price of food was all based on a penny per calorie? Just to give you an idea of what that means, a Big Mac meal from Mc Donalds (big mac, large fry and medium coke) would cost you $10.95. Would you pay that much? Imagine how pricing this way could completely change the obesity epidemic in this country. I know it will never happen, but wouldn't it be great if it did?

Lazy Sloth

Yep, that's me. I have been horrible. It is showing on the scale, too. I am having some major water retention issues. That has to be the problem because I will be up and down 5 pounds from day to day. It is probably due to the fact I am being loose with my pop consumption.

Well, next week starts a new phase. I dropped that first ten pounds pretty easy with just a few adjustments, but now I am into the serious area where I have to get focused. So, next week is my bootcamp week. I am doing a walking workout in the AM and then Core Rhythms in the PM. I am forbidden from fast food until Saturday and I can have one can of Pepsi a day. I bought some great food for breakfast and am going to focus on that inside of the calorie packed lunches I usually have. We shall see how this goes.

FYI

I feel like I've been run over by a truck. It backed up over me and ran over me again. Damn you, Jillian!

Excuses Are Like...

I had excuses out the behind this week for not starting the Shred. Monday was just Monday and I hate that day. Tuesday I had a back ache. This morning I thought I would get an early start on work. Tonight I said to myself "STOP!" So I did the Shred tonight and will pick back up with mornings tomorrow. I hate how I feel since I have not worked out in about 2 weeks. Plus I really wanted to do the Shred. I just have to focus. I have to work through the pain and the sweat and the extreme hate I feel for Jillian during the workout. I also have to fight the boredom. I have such a short attention span that the idea of doing the same workout for 10 days about kills me. I just have to push on. If I don't those excuses will start popping up again.

Weekly Check In

Let me give you the stats as of this morning:

This week's loss: 3.5 lbs
Total loss since 9/27: 11.5 lbs

I am pretty proud. Honestly, I have no clue how this is happening, but a few years ago I lost about 30lbs without trying. I thought back to how I did it and am trying to do what I did back then. It is working so far - even with two weeks of hardly any exercise.

Maybe once I start the Shred things will speed up. Only 6 lbs to my first goal and I have 2 weeks to do it. I think I can!

Gonna Shred Again

Well, I am not gaining any weight by not working out, but theloss has sure slowed. I am calling it at 2.5 lbs this week. Which is down on the past two weeks - about half the weight loss, actually. I'm still on track, but not the fast track. So, I think I must start moving my body again. These past two weeks with hardly any exercise were a nice break and I sure didn't mind just getting up and starting the day without having to work out. However, I need a boost. So, next week it is 30Day Shred again.

The last time I did it was not great. I actually gained weight and hated the whole thing. I think that is not because of the actual workout, but the situation. I had a workout buddy and she was not always available. We worked out at different times everyday and some days we had to miss. So, this time I am going at it alone. The complete 30 days of Shredding my ass off with just me and Jillian. I am sticking to doing it everyday - 30 days straight. I have done some research online and I guess that is how you are supposed to do it.

Before I was under the assumption that you should do it every other day. Now that I know, I am going to really attack it this time and do it everyday. I mean, 20 minutes a day is nothing. I kind of got burned out on the 50 minutes I was doing. I have high hopes for Shredding this time around.

Wish me luck.

I'm in a Slump

Still losing. It isn't weight this time that has me bummed. I feel like my life is stuck in a rut. I am so bored with my life. I feel like I am just wasting it. Everyday is the same damn thing. I barely have adult interaction - where I am actually in the physical presence of another adult. Actually, I rarely even hear another adult's voice since I mostly communicate through text messages or email. I just have no fun anymore. I haven't left MG for weeks. Heck, I have hardly left my house and actually gotten out of my car in quite a while. I am in a slump.

Like my Facebook status says right now: I'm starting to think some days would be better if I was drunk.

Up and Down

I realized, reading back over my posts, that I weigh in too much. My weight is not always stable. I am keeping a journal, though, so I know my last log of weight lost is the most accurate. I tend to go way down in the middle of the week and then come back up slightly at the end of the week. I guess Wednesday is my skinny day :)

Anyway, that is why my weight loss numbers have been crazy. I know now that I need to just wait until Sunday to post my loss as that is the real number. As long as I lose 3.5 pounds a week I am happy. That's my goal.

Offical Results for Last Week

So, weighed in this morning. Lost 4.5 lbs this past week, which is actually better than what I lost the first week of tracking when I was on my game. Total lost 8 lbs (the weigh in on Thursday was my lowest and I was up .5 lbs so that is why thursday i said i lost 8.5 lbs, but now just 8 lbs). I have 2.5 lbs to lose to reach my first mini goal, so hope that happens in the next couple days. I am going to keep on keeping on. Get back on track and do my thing. Hope I can reach my Halloween goal which is a loss of another 9.5 lbs. Might be able to do it. Lost 8 lbs in two weeks and I have 3 weeks to lose 9.5. Just have to focus.

Crap Week, Just Crap

This week was horrible. Terrible, terrible, terrible. My schedule was a little kooky and I worked out three days, I think. I am still down lbs, so it kind of tells me it is not so much the exercise and maybe I can back off a bit. I may drop to four days a week just to make it less stressful on myself since the exercise seems to not have much of an impact. It is all in the drinking. If I can just say no to the damn pop I am good. Also the eating out, which I did horrible with this past week. That, too, packs on the lbs. So, next week I am being a goody 2 shoes. Pop allowance only at lunch. No eating out! Workouts when I can, I guess. I forgot to weigh myself this morning. Thursday I was down by 8.5 lbs, but Friday I was up 1 lb so that makes it down 7.5 lbs.

Checking In

No workout this morning - you don't want to know why, trust me :) I did weigh in. Now I know that weight goes up and down and this may change, but according to the number on the scale this morning I have lost 8.5 lbs since I started on 9/28. Not too bad and actually pretty interesting since my workout schedule sucks this week. That is not a good thing - it is an excuse to not workout. I will just have to watch it.

Warning: This May Be TMI

I started taking the apple cider vinegar supplements. I am getting the same appetite suppressing results that I had when I took it previously, so that is great. However, I have another side effect that was a bit unexpected.

Remember how I had to stop the carb blockers since they created an obstacle for me in the potty? Well, the apple cider vinegar supplements have the opposite effect. LOL I know that is probably TMI, but I did warn you. Anyway, that may be why it works so well as a weight loss supplement.

It doesn't bother me enough to stop taking them, so I am keeping on with them. I am hoping they do a good job since I have a big huge bottle of 250 pills that I don't want to waste.

I am still doing awful getting motivated to work out. I have yet to do a hard workout this week. I've done a half hour each morning and none so far have really made me sweat my ass off like my normal workouts. I just have not been motivated, so I guess I should be happy I at least did something. It could be worse - I could have skipped my workouts completely.

A New Note

Okay, I had to add for today that I went to the drug store and found apple cider vinegar pills. I think i wrote on here a while back about an apple cider vinegar diet pill I took that really curbed my appetite and was helping me but I ran out and couldn't find them anymore. Well, found them and added them to my routine. I think I will use them for a while as long as there are no side effects and they work. If I lose good this week then this may be to thank for it. We shall see.

Hello Again

Well, I met all my goals last week. I set up goals at the beginning of the week. I also discovered 2 things:

1. Carb blocker pills may work, but they really mess up the plumbing, which is not cool.
2. If I drink my regular pop before 3PM I am better off.

So, with that in mind, this week I am off the carb pills and drinking my regular pop with lunch instead of supper.

I exceeded my goal for weight loss last week. I had a goal of 3 1/2 lbs and I lost 5 1/2. I also had my period, which as we all know, causes a little weight gain, so those numbers may not be completely real. Some of that may be water weight.

I already messed up this week. I ate McD's for lunch today, so I need to be extra good all week. Tonight is a light supper. I also have not worked out very vigorously this week so far. I took the whole weekend off and I am disappointed about that. I need to start doing something on the weekends no matter how bad I don't want to. I am thinking about doing my walking workouts on the weekend. They are not too hard and I have a few different ones.

Anyway, I am still moving ahead. Having a scale that is correct really helps me stay accountable. I also realize that I know a lot about losing weight. I took this personal trainer quiz - to see if I could be a personal trainer and I got a 97%m which is pretty dang good seeing that I have no formal training. It was all about exercise and diet questions. I have the knowledge, but I just need to put it to work. That is the struggle. I have to learn to say no to my inner voice that tells me to eat and to slack off.

I'm Back!

My dear friend Jessica asked me if I was going to start blogging again since I am back on the weight loss train. I decided to indulge her.

I have been really struggling since my last entry with the whole working out and weight loss. About 4 weeks ago I started kickboxing 4 to 5 days a week. On Monday I decided to kick it up a little since I had not seen any improvements or changes in my body.

I decided to create my own non-diet. There are a few simple "rules" to my diet.

Rule 1: I was exercising at night because I was too lazy to exercise in the morning. I have read a lot about how AM exercise is much better, so I decided to switch. Now I exercise in the morning. One major thing I noticed right away is that it makes me more focused throughout the day and it helps me feel more energized. So far this is a great change.

Rule 2: No matter what if I want to lose weight I know I have to get the Pepsi drinking under control. There always has to be a rule because it is an addiction and I need to watch myself or I go crazy. For the past few weeks I was at 4 a day, but that was not good enough. New rule is 2 a day. This is the hardest rule by far for me to stick to.

Rule 3: Take carb blocker pills. I am a major carb eater and had read about these pills so I figured I would give them a try.

That is it really. Those three rules. Here is the best part. I started Monday, so it has been 2 days on my non-diet. As of this morning I have lost a total of 6.5 lbs! (As of yesterday I had lost only 2.5lbs) I am pretty excited. Maybe water weight, maybe not, but I am sure doing something right :) I will keep you updated.

Taking a Break - Obviously

I have not posted for a little bit, not because I haven't been around or anything, but because this obsession with food, exercise and weight loss is really getting to me. I just have to stop focusing on it so much. When I focus I seem to do the worst.

A few years ago I lost a lot of weight. Right after my husband died I was up to a high weight. I am not sure the exact weight because I never really weighed myself, but it was around 200 pounds. I wore a size 20. Then in December of that year I decided I needed to lose weight. All I really did was start thinking about losing. I did not exercise. I did not diet. Some of the changes that I can remember (because I did not focus in on losing so therefore there was no plan) are - not eating bread with dinner, eating breakfast on most days (usually it was bacon and eggs and toast - didn't eat lunch often) and rarely eating fast food. I have really been thinking about this because by the end of that summer I was down to a size 12 - comfortable. I went from a size 20 to a size 12 without a diet and without exercise! Now, I am almost back to where to I started.

Now, I am stressing over every little thing I put in my mouth. I am counting calories, fat grams, carbs. I am telling myself I can not eat certain things. I am exercising all the time. I am gaining weight - NOT losing it.

I can only believe that it is the constant obsession with losing weight that is holding me back. When I lost all that weight I didn't give it a second thought until I started to notice my pants were falling off and people kept telling me how thin I looked.

So, I can not do this anymore. I need a break from the obsession. I have to step back and take some time to just chill out. If I don't I am going to get bigger and drive myself crazy.

What's the Deal?

Well, no run today. 5k training is not going well. I wonder if we will ever get started. I may have to fore go the workout buddy thing and just do it myself. Kind of bummed. I wanted to get out there today and test the shins, but, alas, didn't happen.

I am at least doing a 5 mile indoor walk tomorrow.

I am gearing up for the low fat lifestyle. I am getting all the fatty stuff out (most is going in my tummy, but there are starving children in Africa to think about. Can not waste food),

Work will be much less stressful after next week. That is the last week of high demand at my editing job. It will be pretty slow until mid July. That will help me out tons. I can be outside because I can do my writing on the laptop. Plus I will have more flexibility in my schedule.

Had Spring Break at school this week which was much needed. Back to the grind on Monday, though.

I am dying tomorrow - clothes that is. I have a whole bunch of stuff that needs a new life and now that I have a washer I have decided to dye them. Probably going with black. I am thinking of making everything in my wardrobe black just because it is slimming.

Got to clean house tomorrow, too. Also it is the detox day, so wish me luck... making it to the potty on time. LOL

PS I just looked up my fat intake and it is 42 grams a day. Seems like a lot, but I am guessing it is not. That is only 375 calories from fat a day. I can do this, though.

New Day - BAH

I can not seem to get anything right lately. Dang it, man. Bad day again. Tired of being the only person to clean or cook (kids can't cook and their cleaning skills leave a lot to be desired, so it is all me.) so it leads me to eating out.

I have decided that the low carb and the low calorie thing failed me. However, I have not tried a low fat diet. So that is next. I actually think I can do low fat because when I shop I usually pick low fat stuff off the shelves. I also am not a big meat eater - usually chicken or lean beef. It will not take a lot to watch my fat intake as there are many low fat options for just about anything I could want.

The only issues I for see are my love of all things dairy. Now, low fat sour cream and milk are fine, but low fat cheese is just too expensive for me. I may buy one thing of cheese and make it last.

I am actually excited about a low fat diet because I think it is the diet for me. I do not have to stress about my pop drinking and naturally bring myself to lowering my intake instead of feeling like a loser with every can. I also can curb my bad fast food habit. I just need to head tot he store for more chicken breasts and some low fat milk and sour cream (and maybe that package of low fat cheese). This could work.

I am doing the detox on Saturday and Sunday is Mother's Day so I should not have to stress that day, so low fat diet starts Monday. I am looking forward to it. I like that if nothing else it is good for my heart and I am being so kind to my heart these days that I may be the only person in my family to avoid heart surgery, high blood pressure or other heart related ailments. I guess if I am still fat, at least I can be happy in knowing that my heart is good.

Oh, not listing the food I ate today was not by chance. You DO NOT want to know what I have eaten or drank today as it may make you gain weight just reading it.