It's That Time Again

Every New Year's I swear this will be the year that I get a hot bod and every year before January is even over I have fallen off the wagon. You all know how I have struggled this past year, but 2010 is going to be different. I actually have a goal that goes beyond just losing weight and getting in shape.

By the end of this year I plan to start training as a personal trainer, but I need to be in shape if I ever want that to work out. I am starting my own business in 2011, hopefully as a personal trainer. So, this year is all about preparing for my future career.

Since this is so important I have made a very detailed plan. It is a three step plan. It includes cutting down my pop drinking, drinking more water, specific toning of my arms, cardio workouts, working up to a 5 mile run and yoga. Also, I have a basic eating plan. I know that sounds like a lot - LOL.

My plan is broken into three steps - four month periods to slowly change my lifestyle. I am going to start with part 1 of each goals which includes:

cutting down to 3 pops a day
drinking 32 ounces of water a day
doing 30 minutes of cardio 5 days a week
doing arm training 3 days a week
jogging 1 mile 1 day a week
doing yoga 1 day a week

My eating plan is a basic plan. It is based on just trying to get in the proper amount of servings from each food group. Eating is not really the struggle for me. As you all know, it is my pop drinking.

I have a log book that I have actually been using since November to track my workouts. Now I will track all my goals to ensure I stay on track. I do know that every once in a while I may have to skip a workout or I may mess up, but that is okay. It is all about trying my best. That is my goal this year.

I am hoping to do very good and be able to lose 50 pounds by the end of May. That is about 2 pounds a week, which is very possible if I just stay on track.

Wish me luck and I wish luck to all you who have weight loss goals for 2010. We can do it!!!!

New KFC 395 Meal

The new commercial for the 395 calorie $3.95 meal got me thinking. How would our eating habits change if the price of food was all based on a penny per calorie? Just to give you an idea of what that means, a Big Mac meal from Mc Donalds (big mac, large fry and medium coke) would cost you $10.95. Would you pay that much? Imagine how pricing this way could completely change the obesity epidemic in this country. I know it will never happen, but wouldn't it be great if it did?

Lazy Sloth

Yep, that's me. I have been horrible. It is showing on the scale, too. I am having some major water retention issues. That has to be the problem because I will be up and down 5 pounds from day to day. It is probably due to the fact I am being loose with my pop consumption.

Well, next week starts a new phase. I dropped that first ten pounds pretty easy with just a few adjustments, but now I am into the serious area where I have to get focused. So, next week is my bootcamp week. I am doing a walking workout in the AM and then Core Rhythms in the PM. I am forbidden from fast food until Saturday and I can have one can of Pepsi a day. I bought some great food for breakfast and am going to focus on that inside of the calorie packed lunches I usually have. We shall see how this goes.

FYI

I feel like I've been run over by a truck. It backed up over me and ran over me again. Damn you, Jillian!

Excuses Are Like...

I had excuses out the behind this week for not starting the Shred. Monday was just Monday and I hate that day. Tuesday I had a back ache. This morning I thought I would get an early start on work. Tonight I said to myself "STOP!" So I did the Shred tonight and will pick back up with mornings tomorrow. I hate how I feel since I have not worked out in about 2 weeks. Plus I really wanted to do the Shred. I just have to focus. I have to work through the pain and the sweat and the extreme hate I feel for Jillian during the workout. I also have to fight the boredom. I have such a short attention span that the idea of doing the same workout for 10 days about kills me. I just have to push on. If I don't those excuses will start popping up again.

Weekly Check In

Let me give you the stats as of this morning:

This week's loss: 3.5 lbs
Total loss since 9/27: 11.5 lbs

I am pretty proud. Honestly, I have no clue how this is happening, but a few years ago I lost about 30lbs without trying. I thought back to how I did it and am trying to do what I did back then. It is working so far - even with two weeks of hardly any exercise.

Maybe once I start the Shred things will speed up. Only 6 lbs to my first goal and I have 2 weeks to do it. I think I can!

Gonna Shred Again

Well, I am not gaining any weight by not working out, but theloss has sure slowed. I am calling it at 2.5 lbs this week. Which is down on the past two weeks - about half the weight loss, actually. I'm still on track, but not the fast track. So, I think I must start moving my body again. These past two weeks with hardly any exercise were a nice break and I sure didn't mind just getting up and starting the day without having to work out. However, I need a boost. So, next week it is 30Day Shred again.

The last time I did it was not great. I actually gained weight and hated the whole thing. I think that is not because of the actual workout, but the situation. I had a workout buddy and she was not always available. We worked out at different times everyday and some days we had to miss. So, this time I am going at it alone. The complete 30 days of Shredding my ass off with just me and Jillian. I am sticking to doing it everyday - 30 days straight. I have done some research online and I guess that is how you are supposed to do it.

Before I was under the assumption that you should do it every other day. Now that I know, I am going to really attack it this time and do it everyday. I mean, 20 minutes a day is nothing. I kind of got burned out on the 50 minutes I was doing. I have high hopes for Shredding this time around.

Wish me luck.

I'm in a Slump

Still losing. It isn't weight this time that has me bummed. I feel like my life is stuck in a rut. I am so bored with my life. I feel like I am just wasting it. Everyday is the same damn thing. I barely have adult interaction - where I am actually in the physical presence of another adult. Actually, I rarely even hear another adult's voice since I mostly communicate through text messages or email. I just have no fun anymore. I haven't left MG for weeks. Heck, I have hardly left my house and actually gotten out of my car in quite a while. I am in a slump.

Like my Facebook status says right now: I'm starting to think some days would be better if I was drunk.

Up and Down

I realized, reading back over my posts, that I weigh in too much. My weight is not always stable. I am keeping a journal, though, so I know my last log of weight lost is the most accurate. I tend to go way down in the middle of the week and then come back up slightly at the end of the week. I guess Wednesday is my skinny day :)

Anyway, that is why my weight loss numbers have been crazy. I know now that I need to just wait until Sunday to post my loss as that is the real number. As long as I lose 3.5 pounds a week I am happy. That's my goal.

Offical Results for Last Week

So, weighed in this morning. Lost 4.5 lbs this past week, which is actually better than what I lost the first week of tracking when I was on my game. Total lost 8 lbs (the weigh in on Thursday was my lowest and I was up .5 lbs so that is why thursday i said i lost 8.5 lbs, but now just 8 lbs). I have 2.5 lbs to lose to reach my first mini goal, so hope that happens in the next couple days. I am going to keep on keeping on. Get back on track and do my thing. Hope I can reach my Halloween goal which is a loss of another 9.5 lbs. Might be able to do it. Lost 8 lbs in two weeks and I have 3 weeks to lose 9.5. Just have to focus.

Crap Week, Just Crap

This week was horrible. Terrible, terrible, terrible. My schedule was a little kooky and I worked out three days, I think. I am still down lbs, so it kind of tells me it is not so much the exercise and maybe I can back off a bit. I may drop to four days a week just to make it less stressful on myself since the exercise seems to not have much of an impact. It is all in the drinking. If I can just say no to the damn pop I am good. Also the eating out, which I did horrible with this past week. That, too, packs on the lbs. So, next week I am being a goody 2 shoes. Pop allowance only at lunch. No eating out! Workouts when I can, I guess. I forgot to weigh myself this morning. Thursday I was down by 8.5 lbs, but Friday I was up 1 lb so that makes it down 7.5 lbs.

Checking In

No workout this morning - you don't want to know why, trust me :) I did weigh in. Now I know that weight goes up and down and this may change, but according to the number on the scale this morning I have lost 8.5 lbs since I started on 9/28. Not too bad and actually pretty interesting since my workout schedule sucks this week. That is not a good thing - it is an excuse to not workout. I will just have to watch it.

Warning: This May Be TMI

I started taking the apple cider vinegar supplements. I am getting the same appetite suppressing results that I had when I took it previously, so that is great. However, I have another side effect that was a bit unexpected.

Remember how I had to stop the carb blockers since they created an obstacle for me in the potty? Well, the apple cider vinegar supplements have the opposite effect. LOL I know that is probably TMI, but I did warn you. Anyway, that may be why it works so well as a weight loss supplement.

It doesn't bother me enough to stop taking them, so I am keeping on with them. I am hoping they do a good job since I have a big huge bottle of 250 pills that I don't want to waste.

I am still doing awful getting motivated to work out. I have yet to do a hard workout this week. I've done a half hour each morning and none so far have really made me sweat my ass off like my normal workouts. I just have not been motivated, so I guess I should be happy I at least did something. It could be worse - I could have skipped my workouts completely.

A New Note

Okay, I had to add for today that I went to the drug store and found apple cider vinegar pills. I think i wrote on here a while back about an apple cider vinegar diet pill I took that really curbed my appetite and was helping me but I ran out and couldn't find them anymore. Well, found them and added them to my routine. I think I will use them for a while as long as there are no side effects and they work. If I lose good this week then this may be to thank for it. We shall see.

Hello Again

Well, I met all my goals last week. I set up goals at the beginning of the week. I also discovered 2 things:

1. Carb blocker pills may work, but they really mess up the plumbing, which is not cool.
2. If I drink my regular pop before 3PM I am better off.

So, with that in mind, this week I am off the carb pills and drinking my regular pop with lunch instead of supper.

I exceeded my goal for weight loss last week. I had a goal of 3 1/2 lbs and I lost 5 1/2. I also had my period, which as we all know, causes a little weight gain, so those numbers may not be completely real. Some of that may be water weight.

I already messed up this week. I ate McD's for lunch today, so I need to be extra good all week. Tonight is a light supper. I also have not worked out very vigorously this week so far. I took the whole weekend off and I am disappointed about that. I need to start doing something on the weekends no matter how bad I don't want to. I am thinking about doing my walking workouts on the weekend. They are not too hard and I have a few different ones.

Anyway, I am still moving ahead. Having a scale that is correct really helps me stay accountable. I also realize that I know a lot about losing weight. I took this personal trainer quiz - to see if I could be a personal trainer and I got a 97%m which is pretty dang good seeing that I have no formal training. It was all about exercise and diet questions. I have the knowledge, but I just need to put it to work. That is the struggle. I have to learn to say no to my inner voice that tells me to eat and to slack off.

I'm Back!

My dear friend Jessica asked me if I was going to start blogging again since I am back on the weight loss train. I decided to indulge her.

I have been really struggling since my last entry with the whole working out and weight loss. About 4 weeks ago I started kickboxing 4 to 5 days a week. On Monday I decided to kick it up a little since I had not seen any improvements or changes in my body.

I decided to create my own non-diet. There are a few simple "rules" to my diet.

Rule 1: I was exercising at night because I was too lazy to exercise in the morning. I have read a lot about how AM exercise is much better, so I decided to switch. Now I exercise in the morning. One major thing I noticed right away is that it makes me more focused throughout the day and it helps me feel more energized. So far this is a great change.

Rule 2: No matter what if I want to lose weight I know I have to get the Pepsi drinking under control. There always has to be a rule because it is an addiction and I need to watch myself or I go crazy. For the past few weeks I was at 4 a day, but that was not good enough. New rule is 2 a day. This is the hardest rule by far for me to stick to.

Rule 3: Take carb blocker pills. I am a major carb eater and had read about these pills so I figured I would give them a try.

That is it really. Those three rules. Here is the best part. I started Monday, so it has been 2 days on my non-diet. As of this morning I have lost a total of 6.5 lbs! (As of yesterday I had lost only 2.5lbs) I am pretty excited. Maybe water weight, maybe not, but I am sure doing something right :) I will keep you updated.

Taking a Break - Obviously

I have not posted for a little bit, not because I haven't been around or anything, but because this obsession with food, exercise and weight loss is really getting to me. I just have to stop focusing on it so much. When I focus I seem to do the worst.

A few years ago I lost a lot of weight. Right after my husband died I was up to a high weight. I am not sure the exact weight because I never really weighed myself, but it was around 200 pounds. I wore a size 20. Then in December of that year I decided I needed to lose weight. All I really did was start thinking about losing. I did not exercise. I did not diet. Some of the changes that I can remember (because I did not focus in on losing so therefore there was no plan) are - not eating bread with dinner, eating breakfast on most days (usually it was bacon and eggs and toast - didn't eat lunch often) and rarely eating fast food. I have really been thinking about this because by the end of that summer I was down to a size 12 - comfortable. I went from a size 20 to a size 12 without a diet and without exercise! Now, I am almost back to where to I started.

Now, I am stressing over every little thing I put in my mouth. I am counting calories, fat grams, carbs. I am telling myself I can not eat certain things. I am exercising all the time. I am gaining weight - NOT losing it.

I can only believe that it is the constant obsession with losing weight that is holding me back. When I lost all that weight I didn't give it a second thought until I started to notice my pants were falling off and people kept telling me how thin I looked.

So, I can not do this anymore. I need a break from the obsession. I have to step back and take some time to just chill out. If I don't I am going to get bigger and drive myself crazy.

What's the Deal?

Well, no run today. 5k training is not going well. I wonder if we will ever get started. I may have to fore go the workout buddy thing and just do it myself. Kind of bummed. I wanted to get out there today and test the shins, but, alas, didn't happen.

I am at least doing a 5 mile indoor walk tomorrow.

I am gearing up for the low fat lifestyle. I am getting all the fatty stuff out (most is going in my tummy, but there are starving children in Africa to think about. Can not waste food),

Work will be much less stressful after next week. That is the last week of high demand at my editing job. It will be pretty slow until mid July. That will help me out tons. I can be outside because I can do my writing on the laptop. Plus I will have more flexibility in my schedule.

Had Spring Break at school this week which was much needed. Back to the grind on Monday, though.

I am dying tomorrow - clothes that is. I have a whole bunch of stuff that needs a new life and now that I have a washer I have decided to dye them. Probably going with black. I am thinking of making everything in my wardrobe black just because it is slimming.

Got to clean house tomorrow, too. Also it is the detox day, so wish me luck... making it to the potty on time. LOL

PS I just looked up my fat intake and it is 42 grams a day. Seems like a lot, but I am guessing it is not. That is only 375 calories from fat a day. I can do this, though.

New Day - BAH

I can not seem to get anything right lately. Dang it, man. Bad day again. Tired of being the only person to clean or cook (kids can't cook and their cleaning skills leave a lot to be desired, so it is all me.) so it leads me to eating out.

I have decided that the low carb and the low calorie thing failed me. However, I have not tried a low fat diet. So that is next. I actually think I can do low fat because when I shop I usually pick low fat stuff off the shelves. I also am not a big meat eater - usually chicken or lean beef. It will not take a lot to watch my fat intake as there are many low fat options for just about anything I could want.

The only issues I for see are my love of all things dairy. Now, low fat sour cream and milk are fine, but low fat cheese is just too expensive for me. I may buy one thing of cheese and make it last.

I am actually excited about a low fat diet because I think it is the diet for me. I do not have to stress about my pop drinking and naturally bring myself to lowering my intake instead of feeling like a loser with every can. I also can curb my bad fast food habit. I just need to head tot he store for more chicken breasts and some low fat milk and sour cream (and maybe that package of low fat cheese). This could work.

I am doing the detox on Saturday and Sunday is Mother's Day so I should not have to stress that day, so low fat diet starts Monday. I am looking forward to it. I like that if nothing else it is good for my heart and I am being so kind to my heart these days that I may be the only person in my family to avoid heart surgery, high blood pressure or other heart related ailments. I guess if I am still fat, at least I can be happy in knowing that my heart is good.

Oh, not listing the food I ate today was not by chance. You DO NOT want to know what I have eaten or drank today as it may make you gain weight just reading it.

Bad Day All Around

It rained most of the day and was gloomy the rest. Hate that. Then around 8am the internet went out and my phone (get both from the evil cable monopoly). They were down until about 2pm so that meant nothing to do all day. Unfortunately I had started the day with internet and knew it was a busy work day so I got McDs for breakfast - had a coupon for a free McGriddle with the purchase of a McCafe. Well, after sitting around all day bored to death I jumped on the chance to go out to lunch so I had Wendy's - small fry, grilled chicken. I had pop and then bought a frosty milkshake thingy on the way out. Then I had more pop with dinner which was a grilled chicken breast (I really like chicken) and baked potato with homemade bread. I also had a brownie with caramel sauce and whipped cream - need to get rid of these they are killing me. So, total 4 pops today which is still more than I want to consume and no water because when I didn't have a pop I had a coffee. That is really bad. I should go get some now.

My shins have been iced on and off all day. No running today due to weather. Did strength training instead. Nothing tomorrow because it is a heavy workday and I will be computer bound from 8 am until about 7 pm. I will just want to chill after that because there is a guaranteed headache heading my way. Friday is back to 5k training which I hope with 2 days of rest my shins can handle it.

Overall, I felt like a fat piggy today.

Side Note of Excitement

Despite the fact that I am having trouble finding anything to be excited about these days, I did stumble upon something this morning that makes me slightly happy.

I am joining a running site where I can track my miles and figure out distance and such. Anyway, I am signing up and need to log my resting heart rate. So I checked it. When I started working out in June I had a high heart rate. My resting heart rate ran about 110 or so - it was high, very high. Today my resting heart rate is 78. I am pretty proud of that.

I may still be a fatty, but at least this working out has not been nothing.

Another New Day

Yesterday was not too bad. I did keep good control. I did not drown myself in pop and actually got in a lot of water (I didn't log what I had at night, which I think was like 5 or 6 glasses). I also forgot to mention that I was half tempted to go eat at the ice cream shop last night, but I made supper and avoided the temptation. Well, Jessica is so right that this journaling stuff works, so let's get today started.

9:05 - coffee (I do it iced with a slight amount of sugar and some creamer) That is all so far. Of course I am not hungry yet. I have some editing work for the day which really causes me stress. I am on tight deadlines (like an hour turnaround) and it can be hard to get any time away from the computer. Hope I can make good choices.

10:33 - Have to work soon so I grabbed lunch at the ice cream shop. Never fear, I just got a sandwich. It could have been much worse. We are having grilled chicken for supper, so a low cal supper makes up some for this bad lunch.

6:30 - Had my chicken - ended up being a grilled chicken sandwich, but that was all I had for supper and it was filling. I've had three pops today. Around 4 we did our 5K training, day 1. This was 1.25 miles in 30 minutes. My shins started hurting. I have no clue why since they have not hurt since that first couple times. I hate it when my shins hurt. I was about to cry. Guess I must wrap them now.

Well, tonight was a total crapper. I had another sandwich and half a brownie. Plus I ended at 5 pops for the day. However, with my new found outlook about each day being a new day, I am not going to dwell, but rather take away some lessons that I learned today.

First, I have now discovered that a mid-morning, brunch type meal works best for me to keep hunger at bay all day.

Second, I now know that if I drink pop before dinner that it will throw me off.

So, I will take this knowledge with me for tomorrow - because it is a new day.

Today is a New Day

My new goal is to be in control of everything I eat or drink for month of May, starting today. As long as I feel good about eating it, I can eat it. I know what is good and what is bad. Now let's see if I can control myself and actually make good choices.

I have a lot of bad eating habits. that is why I wanted to try to lose weight without dieting. I really thought I could, but here we are, almost a year of solid exercise and dedication, and I am no better off than I was a year ago. Guess I proved one point - you can not lose weight through exercise alone. In fact, exercise has not really done anything for me, so now the focus is shifting completely.

I am still training for the 5k and plan on exercising Monday to Friday.

I am doing this a little different. Everyone will see my struggle. I am going to just come here and edit this post all day as needed when I have an urge to eat wrong or whatever.

Let's start now:

I just got the kids off to school. It is about 7:30am. I have had nothing to eat or drink yet today. A complete clean slate. It is my choice where to go from here because I have a lot from which to choose. I know I should eat, but I am not hungry at all. I am the type of person that if I am not hungry, I can not get anything down. I think this is why I drink so many calories. I never really feel hungry. I bought shredded mini wheats because I love them and they make a great breakfast, but not in the mood for them right now. I think I will have some water to wash down a water pill - I am seriously retaining major water. We will start there. I also know I am in need of coffee sometime soon.

8:15 - Okay, not too long after I last wrote. I have been in the kitchen a few times and keep thinking that I need to eat something. I got in this habit last week of heading to McD's every morning for an iced coffee and a biscuit sandwich. I know this is not the best choice at all, but my mind keeps going there. I keep thinking that I want to get in the car and head there. I am feeling a little hungry. I have 8 ounces of water down and 8 more in my cup. I know I have mini wheats in there to eat. Not sure. My head hurts a little and my tummy is starting to growl, so I need to do something. I think I am going to look up some calories and compare my options.

10:00 - I still have not eaten anything. My water is gone. I am struggling. Here is the deal - if I eat the mini wheats that is about 300 calories. Now, I know how I am, if the mini wheats are not what I really want then I will just sit here and obsess about eating what I really want and then I will end up eating it and only be adding up the calories. I am not one for empty eating. If I want something I eat it because I know if I don't I will end up just eating things to try to make myself forget about what I really want and then in the end I will end up eating it anyway and have racked up a lot more calories than I would have if I would have just eaten what I wanted in the first place. AHHHHH!!! This is going to drive me insane. I swear. I checked on the calories count for the McD's - horrible. So, what the heck do I do? I am driving myself crazy. I am thinking about holding off and heading to McD's for lunch - surprisingly eating lunch there can be far less damaging than breakfast. Just a half hour. I feel like crap because all I have in me for the day is 2 glasses of water. I've managed to scare myself so much I don't want to eat anything.

10:30 - Okay, didn't go anywhere. I had a fried bologna sandwich with cheese and mustard. I also had a rice pudding (sugar free) and this latte that I whipped up myself - it is yummy.

2:24- Made it through to now okay. I am having a boston creme pie sugar free pudding before the kids get home. I have been working so I grabbed some more water. Drank another 8 ounces. Had another special coffee drink, too.

6:07 Went for a walk around 4. Just finished supper - a taco lasagna thingy. Drank a pop. Have some cake for a snack while I watch tv tonight. Probably will have milk with that or maybe more water.

I bought a 24 hour detox to take tomorrow. Wish me luck. I've never done a detox, but I have nowhere to go, so I think I handle it.

9:05 - I did have that cake and I had a total of 3 pops this evening, but that is a far cry from where I've been. I also think I may hold off for the detox until the weekend. I am not sure how it will work and I don't want to risk having to miss my walk tomorrow. So, weekend for that.

Fed Up with Myself

I have finally had enough of myself. I think there comes a time when you just have to stand back and say enough is enough. Do I really need sugar more than I need to like looking at myself in the mirror? I am just not happy with what I see and I have to do something about it. I have been working for over a year and nothing has happened. If anything, I have gone backwards.

It is time to quit making excuses and to be strong. I have to say no. I have to make myself eat right and I have to just start getting real. I thought doing all this exercise was going to help, but it hasn't. I am to the point where I feel like crap 99% of the time. I do not want to go through another summer as a fatty.

So, I have to get serious. I have to stop eating food I know I should not be eating. I have a feeling I will struggle with a little hunger at first, but I think I can make it. It is time to take charge of my body and make it into the body I want to have.

Spark team created

I created my spark team - Craving Support Group at Spark People.

Please join!



PS - Congrats to my bestest buddy Jessica on finishing her 1st ever 5k!!!

5 miles

Tonight I walked/jogged 5 miles with my dvd. It was long, but fun. I really enjoyed the whole thing and added weights during mile 2 and mile 4. I think once a week is good on that, though. My knees were killing me when I was done.

I am still pondering what to of about a Spark Team. I am serious thinking I am going the support group route, though. Maybe helping others fight their cravings will in turn help me. If nothing else it will at least let people know they are not alone in all this.

Spark Team - Here's what I am thinking

Okay, here is my thought about a Spark Team - something related to addictions. There are spark teams about addictions, but most are just not what I am looking for. I am thinking of more of a place to go to get help when you are suffering from a craving - like a support group. I am pretty much online all the time and I have a program that gives me alerts immediately when I get an email (it even tells me the email subject), so i could easily set it so I get an email for all posts and I could be there when someone needs help fighting a craving.

For hardcore addictions to food (and pop, in my case) this could be an amazing help. I wonder if it would catch on? What do y'all think?

Thinking of Starting a Spark Team

I figure that since I like to lead people and I feel I have a lot of knowledge to share that I want to start a Spark Team. It would be a fun thing to do, I think. My issue is that there are already so many teams, what will my team be about?

I have to look around and see what teams are already there and where there may be a need for a new one. If you have any ideas, let me know!

Feeling Better

I am feeling a little better since I have gotten my pop drinking back under control-somewhat. I swear, if we hadn't been on a boil alert I may have just went without pop, but I was thirsty and it was cheap...it was God's will. Had to have been. Why else would there be a boil alert when I was completely out of bottled water and the water jug in the fridge was empty?

Anyway, my new job has restructured the way I do things. I am a very scheduled person. I like to keep to a schedule and deviations make me cranky. My new schedule involves eating breakfast and drinking a pot of coffee during the day before I ever reach for a pop. I haven't been eating breakfast because I can not get away from my computer to get anything. Not even a snack. I almost peed my pants today because I was sitting here for three hours after drinking three glasses of coffee/water/pop. So, breakfast is in and lunch is out. I just can not pull three meals a day, but I have noticed eating breakfast helps a lot. There are not a lot of cravings for eating later at night either. Plus, my energy levels are back up.

I've been strictly walking now. I did the 5k training on Monday (not sure the distance, maybe a mile, but interval training, so a better burn than straight walking), Tuesday was 3 miles with the walking dvd (12 minute miles, though, so a jog is the better way to describe it), Wednesday was a mile outside and then today was 2 miles inside with my walking dvd. I am hoping to have more time tomorrow and am doing the 5 miles of my walking/jogging dvd.

My knees hurt from walking outside. It is an odd thing. When I walk outside it really messes me up, but I have never had an issue walking inside, even jogging inside. I do not usually wear shoes inside, which I think is probably a big part of it. Plus inside is a surface that is not quite as unforgiving as pavement. Of course, like my workout bud said - I will not be running 5k races inside, so I have to get used to it.

Walked/Jogged Three 12 Minute Miles

I got my new walking dvd today. It allows you to walk up to 5 miles as a pace of a 12 minute mile. At the end of each mile there is a jog that really gets you moving. I did three miles today since the most I have done before was 2.5 miles. I liked it. I probably could have done the whole thing, but I want to pace myself. I will probably do 3 or 4 miles tomorrow and Thursday and then do the 5 miles on Friday.

Next week I will have 3 days of 5k training and the other days I will be doing the walking dvd. So, all walking/jogging all the time. It is quick way to exercise when you move fast and not a bad calorie burner either.

To get a little more of a boost I carried hand weights on mile 2 (she also has you do arm movements, so that added to the arm exercise).

I am a bit frustrated otherwise. I have no pepsi in the house. We are on a boil alert. I have already drank a pot of coffee. I am not sure what to do. I am thirsty and boiling water is the last thing I want to do. May head somewhere and buy something after my shower.

Can't Shake It

I have felt really run down for about 2 weeks now and the past few days have been really bad. While it could be heat related since it has been so dang hot, I think it is a blood sugar problem. I laid off the pop and was really limiting myself and then all of a sudden I am drinking it like it is water. I think my blood sugar must be whack because the only other time I felt this run down was when I had gestational diabetes. Already having the disease it makes it a little easier to recognize its symptoms.

So, I feel like I have no choice but to try following a diabetic meal plan. I found one online that is similar to what I followed when I was pregnant. I think I will do what I did when I was pregnant - I ate basically the same things for breakfast, lunch and snacks and then dinner was making do with what was made. It is not too difficult actually to make your current diet work with the diabetic meal plan.

Anyway, when I was on the meal plan when I was pregnant lost about 30 pounds right away. The doctor said I could follow it even if I was not pregnant, so i know it will not harm me in anyway and is safe to try. So, I am giving it a go. I am hoping to start feeling more energized. I guess all I can do is jump right in and get started tomorrow. It'll be a little struggle in the beginning because I do not really have the foods I need for breakfast and lunch, but I will have to do until I can get to the store.

I really hope this helps. If it does then I know my problem and it will become all about losing weight and keeping my blood sugar on track so I don't end up with full blown diabetes. If it doesn't work then I will at least know what the problem is not. I do have thyroid issues in my family so if this doesn't work then I guess I will have to get my thyroid checked.

I Love the Biggest Loser

Even though it is 2 hours long, I love that show. Tonight my favorite went home. I would have loved to see Helen go. I can not stand her. She will sell anyone out to get what she wants. In my opinion she is selfish and nothing showed it more than when she sent her own daughter home. She practically guilt tripped her into leaving and then when the others tried to object, Helen whined and said it was what her daughter wanted. Oh, I just can not stand her!

Before tonight's show I wanted Kristen to win and then if not then Mike. After tonight's show I want Filipe to win. Mike and Ron are evil. Ron knew how Mike was voting and just because he didn't write down Kristen's name does not mean a thing.

I am kind of tired of watching Tara win everything, but I have nothing bad to say about her. at least she wins because she puts effort into it.

It is funny how each week things change and you start to see the real side of people. Shame on Ron and Mike (and Helen). Money is not everything. It is not worth selling out for. After Mike's damn comments tonight if he falls below the yellow line he has a one way ticket home.

See how evil people get when they are skinny. I swear this show proves one point:

skinny = evil

Now that makes a fat girl feel good.

Under 100 Calories - Snack Ideas

Hit the title to go to the article. These are some great snack ideas. They are different than the usual. That is important to me for a couple reasons.

1- I hate fruit. All of it. Don't try to talk me into eating it. I don't like it.
2- I hate yogurt.

Why are these two things important? Because most low cal snack ideas include one of those items. When I snack I want chocolate or carbs or something that I actually want to eat. I do not want to snack on crap I hate eating. Why snack?

That is why I loved this article. These are new, fresh, non-fruit and yogurt ideas for people like me who hate diet food.

Got to Get Under Control

My diet is way out of control and I can not take it anymore. I have decided to go on a straight calorie counting diet. I am not worrying about what I eat as long as I only eat 1500 calories a day. That is the amount of calories I should be eating to maintain my goal weight.

I am not worrying about the details. I may skip breakfast. I will eat carbs. I will drink sugary soda. I may even eat chocolate. However, once I reach my 1500 calories I do not get anymore.

I think breaking things down to this simplistic nature is just what I have to do to get myself under control. I don't like feeling like food is ruling me (not really food in my case, pop). I also know I hate diets. I hate not being able to eat the foods I want or do what I want.

There is one rule and it is clear and simple - 1500 calories - no more.




On the exercise side - I am falling apart. Not sure if it has to do with the two high intenisty weeks I did, but my hip on my left side is hurting very, very badly with even the smallest movement and then my knee on my right is cracking extremely loud and now hurting when it cracks. I feel due to these two problems it is best to stick with the walking only right now. Since I had already decided to do the walking workouts this is fine by me. I hate injuries and could not live with myself if I get injuried because I wasn't listening to my body.

Stress levels through the roof time for a change

I am starting my new job and I still have other work and then school work to complete on top of that - in short, I am super busy. With that in mind there is no time for a long workout. On top of it all my allergies have me screwed up and really intense workouts like tae bo have me about to die halfway in. So, what I have done is bought a walk at home DVD. I am not likely to have a spare minute in the next few weeks to go outside and take a stroll so I am doing it inside.

The workouts are by Leslie Sansone. They are great. I bought a dvd with5 workouts on it. There are 2 1 mile walks, 2 2 mile walks and then a walk/kickboxing combo (not sure how far that is supposed to be in distance). I did the starter 1 mile walk tonight. It was only 20 minutes, but she adding in weights to pump up the intensity. It didn't kill me but it felt good. You can feel it in your legs, for sure. With the weights it gets your arms feeling it, too. I used 3 pound weights, but I have 5 and may push myself at the end of the week.

I am doing the walking workouts all this week. By the end of the week I hope to combine a one and 2 mile walk to make 3 miles of walking. I am using this as part of the 5k training. I need to at least be solid at walking 3 or so miles before we start our interval training outside. I also have the music so if it rains or I just can not get outside I can still do the interval 5k training inside - but we are not there yet - that comes in May :)

Feel Like Death

I have felt horrible all week. My allergies are practically killing me. I am all stuffed up and when I do any cardio I feel like I can not breathe. I get all winded and then start feeling like I will pass out. I only did a small amount of working out this week because of it.

I am not sure how long these allergies are going to stick around, so I am creating walking workouts - one for outside and one for inside. I will be doing those for a while. Then at the beginning of May I will finally start my 5k training.

This was just a crappy week. Allergy season sucks!

Not my Victory, but one worth reporting

My son informed this evening that he weighed himself and has lost 7 lbs. He was so happy. He was telling me how a pair of pants fit him now that didn't before. He attributes it to the fact that he has been playing at the park often and said he has a goal of going to the park to play 4 times a week.

A chip off the old block :)

Wish I could lose 7 pounds without trying. I am dying. My allergies have me all stuffed up which makes carido very difficult. I about died during a half hour tae bo workout last night because I just could not breathe. Sucks! Gonna try it again tonight, though. May walk tomorrow since the rain is supposed to finally be gone.

Not in the Blogging Mood

I have been feeling BLAH again. I took a 3 day weekend from working out since I was doing the 2 hour days there last week. My body needed it. This week I am probably going to end up doing treadmill all week for 1 hour, except tonight when I do 2 hours while watching Biggest Loser.

I fell off the wagon a but with my pop drinking. Got to get that back under control. I have not been eating much because I have a jaw issue that has been acting up and it hurts to open my mouth and chew. I am lucky to make it half way through a meal.

I am starting a full time job at home this week so this has really messed up my ability to workout with my workout buddy. We were supposed to start walking together this week, but between the rain and my work commitments we have not been able to do so. It looks like I will be pretty much on my own from now on. We may be able to do some evening walks, but her work schedule is opposite of mine so those times will be limited. That is okay, though, I push harder when I workout alone. Just got to keep her going.

I think that is about it. Nothing too exciting.

Raining, UGH

I was supposed to be setting out on a two hour walk, but it is raining. I am thinking about a light workout as soon as I finish up some lingering work on my desk. I will probably just do 40 minutes of something. My knees are killing me, though, so I am considering not doing anything today and making today and tomorrow my days off. Then Sunday night I can workout.

This hard core week was a good kick in my butt. It has really gotten me focused. I think about once a month I need a week like this. I've been asked why I did it and the reason is simple. I did it because I needed to challenge myself and my body. I did it because I needed to.

Next week I am laying off a bit. I have a goal of 80 minutes a day which is quite doable. My plans are 40 minutes or so of tae bo and then either treadmill or something else for the rest of the time.

Being Nice Tonight

Well, tonight I am being nice to my body after putting it through hell for the past 3 days. I am doing dance workouts for 2 hours. I think that is a nice and easy workout.

Tomorrow I am doing a 2 hour am walk with some stair running somewhere in there. Then it is off for 2 days over the weekend. I fell good about kicking some butt this week. I deserve a 2 day weekend :)

Schedule Tonight

not that anyone really cares to read about my schedule -lol. It helps me to write it out here. I feel accountable for doing it if I put it here for all to read. Last night I was about to give up at the 1 hour 15 minute mark but I kept going because I said I was doing 2 hours.

Anyway, intense schedule again tonight. I am starting with an hour of tae bo and then on to do an hour on the treadmill (interval training again). I did not work out this morning. Morning workouts bum me out and I just really hate them so I am taking a different approach. I am fine with 2 hours straight, so if it works then I'm doing it.

Also on another note - I am down 4 pounds since last Monday. Very happy with that. It is a good start, but much more work to do. with all the struggles and ups and downs since I started on my journey to quit Pepsi and gain control of my weight (mid-March) I have lost about 11 pounds. I still want to lose at least 10 pounds by the end of the month. If I keep on trucking I might be able to get there. Just have to stay focused.

Did the Treadmill

Well, I did the intervals on the treadmill for 2 hours. I am pretty surprised. It went by pretty fast. I did figure out why Biggest Loseris 2 hours long. There are a lot of commercial breaks. I did intervals during the first 1.5 hours and then just walked through the last half an hour since commercials were coming so quickly then. That show is probably like 50 minutes long if you cut the commercials. Anyway, I did not plan on doing 2 hours today, but I ended up doing it, so I am proud.

Today is a Bad Day

I am so busy with work and I lost my morning due to doing laundry. It is almost 7 and I am crunched for time. I still have about 5 pages to write for a project due tomorrow for work. I have to watch Biggest Loser tonight and it is 2 hours long. That takes me to 10 pm. I still have to workout and shower! So, despite me total desire to say screw working out at all I am going to walk the treadmill during Biggest Loser. I will actually do intervals where I speed up during commercial breaks. I figure 2 hours of interval training on the treadmill is enough exercise for the day. I guess it is a productive way to spend tv time.

Give Me More!

Did my 2 hours today. This morning was rough, but I figure it was because I was coming off a weekend of overindulging in pop and not exercising, plus it was morning and I hate morning. I did an hour of Biggest Loser. This evening was great. I loved every minute of it. I did 40 minutes of tae bo and then 20 minutes on the treadmill doing intervals. I felt so alive when I was done. I could have trudged on for another 20 or 30 minutes, but it is only Monday and I do not want to push it.

I have read in various places that 2 hours of exercise a day is the ideal amount. It will help a person lose weight fast and it is generally just good for the body. We shall see after this week if I agree with that or not.

Tomorrow is my day when I do not workout in the am. Got to do laundry. Then it is 2 days in a row at 2 hours each day.

Let's Look to Next Week

Okay, I am obviously confused about my exercise routine for next week. I am not sure where to go at this point. I have thrown a few things out there like treadmill time, more tae bo, The Firm and The Biggest Loser. I, obviously, have options, but no clue what I am doing. From the past 2 weeks I learned that my body can not handle tae bo 2 times a day every day. I, however, love tae bo and I love the fact that it burns massive amounts of calories every time I do it.

So, after thinking here is my decision - I am doing tae bo at least once a day. I am aiming for at least 60 minutes of exercise at each session (2 times a day). That brings me to 2 hours of exercise a day. I am going to do tae bo in the evening since that is when I feel most full of life. In the morning I am doing Biggest Loser. Now, most of my tae bo dvds are 40 minutes or around there, so I am rounding that out to make it an hour by doing treadmill for the remainder of the time.

Of course, there are always deviations from the plan. Tuesday morning I go to the laundromat so I do not usually workout. Tuesday will be 1 hour of tae bo in the evening only. Friday my dad, brother and sister and I are having a family outing at Hooters (odd choice, I know, not my decision, but I am cool cause I am getting drunk). So, I will not be able to do an evening workout. I will do an hour of tae bo and treadmill in the morning instead.

So, here is my workout plan for this week:

Monday: am - Biggest Loser 1 hr
pm - tae bo/treadmill 1 hr

Tuesday: am - OFF
pm - tae bo/treadmill 1 hr

Wednesday: am - Biggest Loser 1 hr
pm - tae bo/treadmill 1 hr

Thursday: am - Biggest Loser 1 hr
pm - tae bo/treadmill 1 hr

Friday: am - tae bo/ treadmill 1 hr
pm - OFF

Okay, now onto diet. I have a short attention span and so I did the apple cider vinegar crap for one week and it was okay. It did work to suppress my appetite. I didn't really lose any weight, though. For this coming week I am doing the carb blocker pills. I figure with the drunkin' plans for Friday I could use a carb blocker to help me out. Beer has a lot of carbs and that is probably gonna be the drink of choice. So, I will report in occasionally about that. I am also actively trying to watch portion sizes and choose smaller portions since that is a big issue of mine.

There we go. I am all planned out for the next week. It is Spring break so that means a lot of distractions and craziness to test my abilities.

Found Something New

I am always looking for motivation. Sometimes just having a hard ass attitude about weight loss and exercise is not enough. Sometimes I need a push. So, I was reading this magazine and came across something about this website called WeightView.com.

At this website you will get a picture of you now turned into a picture of what you will look like when you have lost the weight you want (up to 50 lbs). I think this is helpful because 1)you get visual motivation to see just how fab you will look and 2)it is good for people who really do not need to lose more weight. There is one girl I saw on there who weighs 115 lbs and she wants to lose 10 lbs and in my opinion she looks like a stick afterwards. Hope she chooses to not lose more.

Anyway, I just signed up and am awaiting results. I may actually have 2 profiles because when signing up for the first the page just stopped loading and when I tried to resend it would not allow it because it said that email was already used, so I used another email. Whatever. I will let you know when I get my results. In the meantime everyone check it out.

A little added note: I tried signing up 2 times and neither went through. I contacted them and have not heard back as of yet. Not sure how useful this service is when you can not even sign up. It blocks your email as being used once you hit the send button even if you do not finish sign up. Also it is a facebook app and that is the only place you can use it. Thought it was a great thing until I got into it and found it is a huge mess. Proceed at your own risk.

New Podcast Posted

Just posted my 2nd podcast for all to listen to. Hope you enjoy it. It is about my Pepsi addiction. Next week is going to be about weight loss. I hope you all will stop by and listen.

So I am a Rebel

I worked out tonight despite the fact my body was not into it. I pushed it and made it do the million punches, kicks and twists that Billy so nicely threw at me. I can honestly say after 2 weeks of putting myself through hell that I am glad I did it. It may not have turned out as I would have liked - I did end up wimping out two mornings this week that I should have worked out, but overall I did amazing.

Calories burned:5378

Not bad, if I say so myself.

Next week I am going to change morning workouts to something that is not tae bo - most likely interval training with The Firm or maybe I will tackle The Biggest Loser dvds I have. Evening workouts will be tae bo. I am considering adding in a treadmill workout too (yes, 3 workouts a day) just because I think I will need it for the following week when it is time for the beginning of 5k training in the am. My poor body is really gonna hate me :)

My Body Hates Me

Well, not wanting to listen to reason or warnings I embarked upon this crazy workout schedule in the hopes it would slim me down quickly. I learned my lesson. i feel like crap. As I said, I skipped the am workout yesterday and I did again this morning. I did my hour of working out last night and will work out again tonight. When I woke up today I felt so blah. My back hurt and my hamstrings are a bit tender.

I learned my lesson. I now need to take it a bit easier. I only have to figure out what to do in the mornings for next week because the week after I start walking for the 5k training. I am still doing 2 workouts a day - don't care. Just can not do 2 tae bo workouts a day. That kills me.

I am not sure what to do in the morning. I may do some strength training or start walking on the treadmill to get myself in shape for the real thing the following week. not sure, but I have to switch it up or my body may go into full rebellion.

Little Break

This morning I have decided to take a break because last night's workout was really intense. It was the longest tae bo workout I have at 55 minutes. My body feels a little run down and I think it could stand with a morning off. Tae bo is seriously intense, so I think I may need to scale it back slightly for next week. I am considering taking off the morning workout on both Tuesday and Thursday again. I will workout tonight - have a 50 minute workout on schedule. I just felt like crap during both workouts yesterday. It was like my muscles were tired before I even started, so I am thinking my body is not too happy about the marathon training. Better slow than hurt.

Already Over 4000 Calories Burned

I can not believe in 4 days I have burned over a pound of fat. That is awesome. I am also feeling great because I have been on track with eating all week. No indulgences, no cravings, no excess snacking, 2 pops for yesterday and today. I am on top of things this week.

I will not lie, I think those vinegar supplements help. I am not getting hungry. I can go hours and hours without ever feeling like I want to eat. It is great. It has to be those supplements. The more I think about it, the more sense that makes. I was so out of control, but once I started taking those I am on track. I have to hit up the store and get more of them!

I am just happy with my progress this week. I think I am on my way to my May 1st goal. Tomorrow is grocery shopping day so I hope I can make good choices and not stray tomorrow.

Update on the 5k Training

I found out today 5k training starts on May 11th. We may do a run sponsored by Panera in Marion sometime in June.

Today was a light day with a 46 minute tae bo workout this evening. I also have drank 1 pop today so far. Will have another this evening while watching tv. So, 2 for the day. My goal was to be at 2 per day by April 1st. I have not been doing too great, but tomorrow is April 1st so at 5 days a week I have to stick to only 2 day. No going back now. My new goal - 1 a day by May 1st. slow baby steps will get me free!


Forgot to add - still doing the vinegar thing. I did some research and taking after eating won't hurt. The whole idea is to just take it a few times a day. Doesn't matter what times. I think i took it twice yesterday and then twice today.

Woo-Hoo

I am mixing up my tae bo boot camp this week. Last week all I did was Amped. this week I have a few other tae bo workouts that I am mixing in . I didn't want to get bored of the amped series. Tonight I did a cardio circuit workout. I really like it because it works arms, legs then abs and then goes through that circuit again and ends with a total body. I know what is coming and how much more is left without watching the clock. LOL

It was fun. I am sweaty. I was breathing heavy. Total was 80 minutes of tae bo today.

Tomorrow will be a light day because I have to go to the laundromat in the morning, so I don't workout. Just a 50 minute evening workout.

I have discovered that my motivation is much stronger to work out in the evening than in the morning. Not sure why. Maybe it is because I hate mornings. However, I figure a short am workout will not kill me, so I do an am workout 4 days a week. Tuesday and Sunday are evening only.

I have finally scheduled 5k training, not sure if I shared. I am going to wait for my workout bud. Once she is up and at it again I will begin 5k training. That will be the morning workout. Evening will still be tae bo until I drop at least 20 pounds.

Oh, and forgot to take the apple cider vinegar pill again with supper. Took it after. Not sure if that will work or if I am missing the boat by not taking it before. I tried to find it out on Google, but alas, Google let me down. I promise tomorrow to try harder to take the pills on time. Cannot access something if I screw up the process.

Crap

As I have said before I suck at taking pills. I was going to start the apple cider thing today and totally forgot to take a pill before eating lunch. I took it now - about 2 hours later - LOL. I will remember later, I promise. Idon't have a lot of these apple cider vinegar pills, so when I go to the store on Thursday I am buying some actual apple cider vinegar. Then I get the joy of drinking it. Anywho, wanted to let you know I started this trial thing, sort of.

I did 30 minutes of tae bo this morning and have 50 minutes scheduled for tonight. I did 50 minutes of tae bo yesterday. So, on track at least for the exercising.

New Home Remedy for Weight Loss Idea

Okay, this is not really a new idea, but it is something new I am going to try. Apple Cider Vinegar. I remember when I was little my mom used to do this and she did lose weight. The whole idea is to drink a glass of water with 1 to 2 teaspoons of apple cider vinegar in it before each meal. I also happen to have pills, which I am going to start with. Simply, taking a pill seems much more pleasing to me than drinking that crap :)

Anyway, it seems to be something that people swear works, so I figure it will not hurt me to try it. I read that it should be done for 2 weeks on and then 2 weeks off, so I will start it tomorrow and then report in next Sunday and the following Sunday to tell you if it helped. If it did help then I will go off 2 weeks, report in and then start for another 2 weeks. We shall see if this is a big hoax or the real deal.

My Scale is Possessed

I swear my scale has gone crazy. One day I step on and have gained 6 lbs overnight. Then the next time I get on it says I lost 2lbs. Then again I step on and it says I weigh 4lbs more. Now I try it yet another day and it says I am down 4 lbs. What is the deal? I know weight changes throughout the day, so every time I weigh myself it is the same time of day. I think my scale is crap. I guess I will never really know exactly how much I weigh. A ballpark figure is about all I get. Dang stupid scale!

My Podcast is Up and Running

I just put up my first podcast on my other blog. Go check it out. It is less than 8 minutes and I have a soothing voice, some say sexy, so it is good listening. LOL

I added my other blog under my following list so y'all can get to it easy.

Guess How Many Calories I Burned?

Over 5000!!! Hard work and dedication can whittle away at the fat. I am tooting my own horn here. It was hard and it sucked and I am sore, but I did it. I have not burned this many calories since about November. Go me!

PS - I just noticed that I have already reached my Spark America goal for the year and am over by 1 hour. Tee-hee.

I have a dream

I have a dream that by the beginning of May I will be 20 pounds lighter. It is a fight with myself to do it, but I know I can. I am on a strict tae bo schedule, which literally just eats away calories and tones the body. The workouts I am doing are some of the hardest Billy Blanks has created. They get me drenched in sweat about 15 minutes in. They are tough.

I am still battling the pop demons. Yesterday, after four days of screw ups at 4 or 5 a day, I had 1. Then today I have had three. I do not have any pop in the house but Cherry Coke Zero, so three will be it for today. I know I have to get this back under control or I am doomed.

So, it is 20 pounds for my short term goal. That will get me back to a better place where I will feel motivated and ready to take on anything. Then 20 more pounds and goal weight after that to work on over the summer. I make it sound so easy, don't I? LOL

Why?!

Tell me this, please, why in the world is it impossible to make an artificial sweetener that does not taste like crap? Look at all the great things we've accomplished. We managed to create a whole new country and separate ourselves from England. We put a man on the moon. We have our first black president. We have cured polio. We created a network of computers that allows us to talk to people all over the world. We have done so many great things. So, why can't someone create a sweetener that has zero calories and doesn't leave a nasty aftertaste?

Off Track But Getting Back On

Well, my pop has been a crazy battle the past few days. I am back to about 4 a day. Tomorrow I hope to get off that bad road. Additionally, I have decided to not start training for the 5k right now. I can not risk an injury because I have a weight loss goal I am trying to reach. I do not need more roadblocks.

On the good side I have burnt almost 3500 calories in two days - that is 80 minutes of tae bo yesterday and today. AND, 3500 calories is 1 pound. If I can do this for 4 more days that should equal around 3 pounds lost through exercise alone this week. That will keep me right on track. I just have to focus and stick with it so I can keep up the 80 minutes of tae bo per day schedule. Should not be too hard since I love tae bo and love getting my butt kicked :)

I just want to cry

My shins were feeling quite good last night and this morning. I thought it was over. Then I did a 50 minute tae bo session this morning and now my right one hurts again. I am so upset over this. I am too scared to start training tomorrow. I can not get injured because if I can not work out then I will fall apart. I do not want to risk everything just for the 5k. I have to figure out what I am going to do. This is stressful!

New Blog

I created a new blog today - Caffeine Lifestyle. It is going to be my podcast's home. One day soon my podcast will be up and running. When that time comes I hope you all will tune in. They are going to be short and would be something you could enjoy from your IPod or MP3 player. I am hoping to stick to about 30 minutes. Not sure how it will all turn out. I am still in the planning stages.

My weekend has not been the greatest as far as willpower goes, but I am getting back on track. I drank pop like it was going out of style yesterday and I feel it today. Then my shins were a mess last night, but better today. I learned a lesson there.

Training for the 5k starts Tuesday. I am wearing better shoes. Hope it goes well or else my 5k plans may get scrapped.

I also plan on keeping the beefed up workouts. 2 a day, about 60 to 90 minutes total. I am also planning on being a little stricter on myself eating wise. I have a goal to reach and not much time to do it. I have to work harder. I am just all confused about the calculations and such. I have figured the calories they say I need. I am just not sure how exercise fits into it. Is it already figured in or do I have to subtract it? I am confused. No wonder losing weight is so damn hard.

Speaking of things being difficult. I read this article in a magazine talking about portion sizes. What is going on in our society?! A serving size of a muffin is the size of a mini muffin! I do not know about you but when I eat a muffin, a mini muffin just doesn't cut it. The whole serving size thing really blows my mind. Are we really supposed to eat so little? How do we train ourselves to do that after eating the super sized portions we are used to? Like I said, no wonder losing weight is so hard!

I think that is all for today. I think today is another day off just to let the shins rest. Tomorrow it is tae bo in the morning and evening and then 5k training on Tuesday.

UGH

Bad day. To begin with I have horrible shin splints which is scaring me. I can not do much until they are healed and then I wonder how running will go if they keep coming back. It is so bad tonight that I can not stand to take a step. Horrible. It probably didn't help that I was standing for about 2 hours this afternoon with no sit breaks. I am icing them later and taking some pain killers.

Then I fell off the wagon a bit. I have had about 4 pops today. We are eating pizza for supper and I can bet I will have another. Chalk that up to the fact that I've been running all day and pop was really my only option. Of course, I could have just said no. I know this. Back on track tomorrow. I was on a slippery slope all week, but I am not going to just give up. I stumbled, but I didn't fall.

I want to work out tonight, but I am not sure it will happen. My son is throwing a fit because he is bored and I am referring fights between him and his sister. They always fight when they are bored. Life isn't all roses and rainbows, though. He will get over it. Plus, not sure if I should work out or take a day off due to the shin thing. I will have to see how it feels.

All in all, bad day. I feel like a huge loser today. Hope tomorrow is better.

Still having it rough

Man, I hate this time of the month. I am always craving something but I never know what. I think I want something sweet so I eat something sweet and then decide I need something more savory and I eat that and then I want something else. It is a never ending cycle.

I am so sore from tae bo the past few days I had a very light day. We walked this morning - 3 miles in the freezing cold (the temp said 20 degrees when I got home). I didn't do tae bo tonight - my arms are killing me!

Let's see, oh, three pops today. Not bad. I am going to bed hungry and craving Pepsi. It may be a rough night. I hope I get some sleep. I know I will dream of food. I always have crazy food dreams - or crazy Lil Wayne dreams - LOL

Struggling and some news

Today is awful. It is getting to be 'that time of the month' and I am struggling so bad with wanting to eat everything in sight, plus I want to drink pop like it's water. I already screwed up my whole day by having a large pop for breakfast - yes breakfast. I broke a major rule I set for myself - no drinking pop before noon. That has set me up for a bad, bad, bad day. I made a pot of coffee and hope to be able to make it. I already know I will probably hit 4 pops today. However, sometimes being a woman makes you do dumb things. It could be worse.

Now for the news. I think I love being so busy I can't think -lol. School and work have me super busy, but I usually take the weekends off and I wanted to do something productive, so I am going to be putting together a podcast. I am not sure about the details just yet. No name yet and no set topic. I know I want to talk about exercise, nutrition, weight loss, but I also want to be able to bitch when I feel like it and talk about working at home. So, not sure yet. If anyone wants to suggest a name then feel free to do so. The podcast will be linked up with this blog, so watch for it in the coming weeks.

So I struggle

Three pops again today. I really tried. I did. I just can not beat myself up about it, though. I am going to stop stressing and let it happen naturally. I can't push it. I learned that before. So, maybe I will try next week.

I am doing tae bo again and it is GREAT!!! I have some anger issues - obviously if you read my hate post - and tae bo tonight helped me big time. I am doing the Amped series. It is just what I need right now. Core Rhythms was great I will go back to doing it, may add to the morning workout, but for now I am going to bust my butt doing tae bo in the evenings and I am going ot love every minute of it.

A Little Update

Today I missed the 2 pop rule. I drank 3 today. I am not beating myself up, though. Stepped on the scale and I have lost 12 pounds since cutting back on my pop. To be fair, I have doubled the workouts. Today I did 80 minutes. I think it has been between 70 to 80 minutes every day for the past week and so far this week.

Anyway, I am fine with this. I am trying and I am still on track. The old me would have taken this as a chance to drink the rest of the 12 pack I have. I stayed in the 3 a day limit, so it is fine. Tomorrow is a new day.

Rolin', rollin', rollin'

Today was a stepping stone. I got in my 70 minutes of exercise just fine. I have only drank 2 pops. I am feeling rather energized. Ready to amp it up tomorrow with tae bo again. Made my training schedule so I can start running next week. Oh... yeah... only 2 pops today people!!! I am cutting back again. 2 weeks at 3 a day was cool, but my goal was 2 a day by the end of the month, so I have to get crackin'.

Stay with me here there is a related point in this - I have realized that hate is the single most powerful emotion. I know people will say, what about love? Let me just point out that love is all great and crap, but whenever a person thinks they are truly motivated by love, isn't hate always lingering? What about the mother who says her mission to stop drunk drivers because her son was killed by one is a mission of love for his memory? Don't you think somewhere in there it is really hate for the drunk driver that did it? What about parents motivated to find a cure for an illness that is killing their child? They may love their kid, but they hate the disease. I have went over and over this in my head. Hate beats out love every time in my eyes. Anyway, the point here is that I have discovered my motivation and why I am so on track these days. It is hate. I hate how I look. I hate how guys use me because I hate myself so much that I am afraid to stand up for myself and afraid if I don't let them use me that I will be alone forever. I hate pop ruling my life. I hate feeling like I have to always be counting a calorie or a carb or a fat gram. I hate the cycles of losing and gaining. I hate feeling that my body is weak. I hate men, but that is a whole other blog post. You get the point. Hate is my motivation and while it may not be the most healthy motivator it is the only one that has worked.

I am pumped up

Only one more week until I start my training for the 5K. Still don't have a race, but I have a training schedule written out. My training is a 16 week program. I am basically starting from scratch since I do not run and never have. I know I do cardio, but I think running is a whole new ball game.

I am so super excited because I never would have imagined I would be a runner. I am not the typical runner. However, I think I do have the drive and determination that is an important part of being a runner.

I have no doubt that by August I will be very ready to run a 5k - and I mean run the whole thing - no walking or crap like that. By that time I hope my goal is no longer finishing and running the whole thing, but improving my finishing time.

I have set up my schedule to have a little flexibility. I am starting out on the streets. When my workout bud is back from surgery recovery we are heading to the track where she can begin to build up her abilities, we can workout together and I can keep to my schedule. Once she is more up to my speed we will hit the streets again to really work on making a 5k run. I do have a treadmill for rainy days. I have also considered what I will do once my kids are home when school is out. I have plans in place so excuses do not pop up to stop me.

I think having a goal and being able to say I am training for something will keep me going. It makes me feel like I have to push because there is a goal at the end I have to reach. I am a very goal oriented person.

I must add that today I did cheat a bit on the pop. I have had 4 today. I figured being good since the 2nd has earned me this small reward. Don't worry, though, I am not falling off the wagon. Once I finish this 4th one I am done for the day.

2 Weeks Under my Belt

The end of week 2, 12 days gone. I have successfully managed to stick with my new and improved outlook on losing weight. I have recognized and fixed problems as soon as they occur. I have stuck to 3 pops a day. I have bumped up my workouts. I am dedicated and focused. I have put aside stupid things and people in my life so I can focus on making me the best me possible. For 12 days I have managed to stay sane and succeed. This is not the end for I will continue this path and reach my goals.

Exercise today was by myself. I crammed it all in the morning. I did 45 minutes of Core Rhythms and then 25 minutes of the Firm. When it comes down to it I can really only handle around an hour of continuous work or I get bored and want to quit, so that is why today is nowhere near the 85 or more minutes I have been doing this week. Still not shabby. SparkPeople has me at these stats for my fitness this week:

Minutes: 365
Calories Burned: 3453

I think 365 is good. The recommended is 60 to 90 :)

I Must Stay on Track

Tomorrow I have to workout alone. Then it is just a week before I am alone until June. I am nervous that I will let myself stray, but I have a plan and I am hard core about it.

I am still doing well with the pop, thanks for asking :)

Today we did Hard Core Fusion from the The Firm for 35 minutes. I will do Core Rhythms tonight for 45. Tomorrow I am doing Core Rhythms and High Def Sculpt from The Firm in the morning. Probably no evening workout tomorrow, but the morning workout is 90 minutes.

I am going to put together a workout schedule for when I am solo. Schedules keep me on track. I am working on that today.

That's it for now. Toodles people!

Hump Day, Slump Day

Wednesday just seems to be a real downer sort of day. In the am workout we have started to make it our light day. We usually do pilates, which we did a half an hour of today. I did do my 45 minutes Core Rhythms and I am on track with the 3 pops still. I am doing good. Just feeling blah with the hump day blues.

Today was different

I have had one pop as of right now today. ONE - odd. I had a diet Sprite with lunch which I guess is a pop but no calories so doesn't count really. I have had water, coffee and a fiber drink (don't ask), so I have been too busy to worry about pop.

I worked out this am - 40 minutes straight cardio The Firm. I am going to do 45 minutes of Core Rhythms once I get off here tonight. 85 minutes total of exercise today. I just feel like I need to bump things up. Combining major exercise with far less calories a day should get some results, right?

Oh, and I forgot to mention - 3 cups of coffee makes me really amped up. I feel like I am holding my eyes wide open -lol. I also feel as if I have boundless energy. Dang coffee. Tastes so good, but is so very bad.

Go me!

Three a day for 8 days now. I attempted to go down to 2 today, but I think it is too early. I am having one odd side effect from this all. Every day - I can set my clock by this - at about 5 pm I get a migraine. Every day. It sucks. It lasts about 2 hours even with medicine. I am not going to give in because of some little headache, though.

Exercise today - 55 minutes of circuit training with The Firm this am and then 45 minutes of Core Rhythms tonight. I was feeling energetic and fat. With the latter being why I pushed myself today. Burned over 1000 calories, though. Not too shabby.

New bad habit - alternative sugary drinks and sweets. I know it is the sugar craving pushing me here. Today was not bad and I plan to keep it that way. No sweet snacks today and just one (very tall) glass of hot cocoa. Over the weekend we made hot fudge sundaes and I ate until I couldn't eat anymore. Then I was making cocoa at an alarming rate. It was a mess. I sure won't lose weight if I just sub one sugary thing for another. I recognized the issue, though, and am watching now that I am aware. It won't be happening anymore.

Still Rolling

Still on track with the pop. Starting a new week, week 2 of the pop cut down challenge (as I have named it). I am trying 2 per day this week but will not beat up myself if I end up drinking 3.

I also am thinking more about my workouts. This week we already have a plan set up for everyday. I just ordered that new flirty girl fitness dvd you all have probably seen on tv. I just have to remember to cancel the program once I get it because I don't want to be paying out every other month for dvds I do not need or want.

I think I am changing up my plans. I am going to start the Biggest Loser this week. I want to do 2 workouts a day starting this week. I am going to do BL at night. Then when I am working out alone I am going to rotate BL with my dance dvds - I will have the firty girl ones and my core rhythms. So, that is the new plan.

It Was Tough

But I did it! Everyday only 3 pops. Yesterday was a challenge. I had a large pop for dinner so that took up 2 pops and I couldn't have one at night. I struggled with that, but I made it through. Mostly because I stepped on the scale and saw I lost 5 pounds! That was motivation. It was probably mostly water weight since I am more hydrated than I think I have been in years.

Maybe another 5 this week or maybe more -lol. I am not trying to focus only on that because I do not want to see the scale stuck and it send me on a bender. I really can get out of control. One bad day could pack all the weight back on.

The exercise this week was fine. We did the Firm everyday but Wednesday and Friday. Yesterday we did step - holding 1 lb weights. It was killer. Step kills us every time which is odd to us. All the calorie figuring calculators I have seen about calories burned during an exercise say tae bo or kickboxing burns the most. However, step kills us more than tae bo ever does. It gets our heart rates up more and we really feel it. I think those calculators are wrong.

I am gearing up for working out alone for a little while. My workout buddy will be off for surgery in about 2 weeks. Then she will be out of commission for about 6 weeks. I also told her that she won't be able to jump right back in with working out with me. I will be at a much higher level. So I am thinking if she really puts her mind to it that we can workout together again starting in June.

The reason for it taking so long is that she will be completely down for at least 2 weeks if not longer. Then she will only be able to walk slowly at best. Meanwhile I am going to start running in the morning and then doing the Biggest Loser workouts. My workouts are going to be taking it up a level than what we do right now. She will be going back about 9 months to level we started at.

We shall see how this all goes. Right now the focus is on getting her fixed up and then healed. My focus is to pump up my efforts. I may walk with her once she starts, but that will probably be more a leisurely stroll for me than anything else. Support for her, though.

These next few months are when I really need to work because I have a goal to reach by the beginning of summer and I am not going to miss reaching it.

The View is Great on the Wagon

Thursday= 3 Pepsi's

Go me!

Third Times a Charm

Day three, only three Pepsi's. I have to admit tonight is a bit of a struggle but I am doing it. I have found a groove. I have a pop at lunch, one at dinner and one at night. That seems to keep me in check. I am a bit stressed about my calorie intake, but I am not going to even attempt working on it. I need 2 weeks at the three pop limit and then I can try other things. I just feel doing too much right now would break me.

We did a light workout today because we were very sore from our hour of lunges and arm exercises with 10 pound weight we did yesterday.

Patting Myself on the Back

Again, only three pops today! I am so proud of myself. This time around my mind set is totally different than ever before. I do not think about it. I stuff myself with water (a total of about 14 glasses today). I am not obsessing over it. I am just getting by day by day and celebrating each success.

I actually could have gotten by on 2 today. I just had to get that least one in since I allowed myself 3.

I am noticing changes already in how I feel. Since I am not all the way off caffeine and I am breaking it up throughout the day I do not get headaches. However, I do notice I feel different after drinking one and it is not a good thing. I do not like how it makes me feel.

I think I am making progress and may actually stick with it this time. Let's hope. It is only day 2, so I am cautious, but optimistic (which is something new I am trying out).

Fat Loss Seminar Tonight

Our PTO sponsored a fat loss seminar tonight and of course I went. It was given by a local guy who is certified in nutrition and fitness. He has some great credentials (not to mention he was quite easy on the eyes). Anyway, I was ready to eat up all the good information.

Most of the information I get is from the internet and we all know how reliable that can be. I was finally ready to talk to someone and share my struggles and get advice - all of which I did.

I have learned a lot about myself. I have realized, and said here before, that my weight loss hurdle is drinking pop. I have to find a solution. These past few days I have been doing very good with it. 6 yesterday (a little higher than I wanted, but still lower than normal) and 3 today. Yep, 3!

Anywho, I discovered tonight that the reason I have such a huge thirst is because I am constantly dehydrated. I would not drink so much if I were drinking water or something without the sugar. Today, being that I have only drank 3 (three) pepsi's and mostly water, I saw first hand that I drink far less when I am hydrated. I doubt that I am hydrated to the level I should be with just one good day under my belt, but it is a start.

I also took away some other important pointers:

- Eat every 4 hours - eat something at least 200 to 300 calories. This keeps the body burning fat and not muscle and keeps it from going into fat storage instead of fat burning.
- Try to eat protein every time you eat. Protein is essential to keep the body burning fat and not muscle as it helps in the release of fat burning hormones.
- 70% of weight loss success is tied to nutrition. That means only 30% is exercise related.
- All calories are not the same as they cause different hormonal reactions in the body.
- It does not really boil down to "burn more calories than you consume" for the reason above.
- If you start eating every 4 hours you will see a change in your body in 7 to 10 days. That is all you have to do to see the physical change.
- You must eat carbs because your body needs them, but you should never eat more than 130 grams a day. You should try to eat these as early in the day as possible. Try to eat a protein with your carbs too as it helps them break down slower in the body thus less turns to fat.
- The best way to eat right is to get a new mindset. Become outcome focused instead of pleasure focused.

Lots of good info. I am super excited to take all I have learned and put it to use. Right now I am really zoned in on skipping the pop, but I like the eating every 4 hours thing. I will have to work on that, though. I am bad at eating often. I did get some crackers and cheese at the store today which makes an ideal snack choice.

Well, I hope this info will enlighten someone else. A lot of it I had heard before but was not sure if it was true. This guy is very knowledgeable and knows what he is talking about. I am very glad I took the time to go tonight. Valuable info that I think may help me out of my rut. Who knows, this time next week I could be on the right path to skinny-ville.

The View

Today I was watching The View hot topics segment and something Whoopi said made me have to make a comment. They were talking about how the American Medical Association is all mad because they are showing cigarette packs in a new movie. Whoopi made the comment that what gets her more than that is them showing people in bars, alcohol ads on tv, people drinking and then driving. I feel the exact same way and have always wished someone would say that.

Cigarettes are not the best things in the world, but alcohol is far worse in my opinion. Of course you always have the reply - cigarettes have second hand smoke - yada,yada. If anyone cared to do their homework they would see that alcohol's secondhand effects are far worse than those caused by cigarettes. Drunks drivers are more dangerous than smokers any day.

I think this country has a big problem with focusing too much on smoking because it is cool to hate smokers. It is legalized discrimination. All these smoking bans have legalized segregation again. Think about it because it is scary.

You can justify it however you want. I have read some alarming things about the so-called facts about smoking and second bans smoke. What the media fails to tell you is when these break through studies fall apart. Many of the 'facts' you rely on have actually been disproved. All these bans were brought through on unreliable information. Ignorance is rampant.

I will get off my soap box now. I just wanted to express my feelings about how crazy this country is and that at least one other person, Whoopi, can see that.

Let's Take a Look

Despite the many set backs this week, the lack of will power and the addiction to Pepsi, I have still managed to work my body. As I said, I think exercise is the only thing keeping me from ballooning up and busting my jeans at the seams. I have to think it is having some benefit.

So, let me check in. The Shred ended a couple weeks ago on the 13th. We have already talked about that so let's not open old wounds.

On the 16th I started The Firm with a lot of hassles and bumps in the road. My workout buddy and I have struggled with illness at both our houses which has meant we have not worked out much together. That has not stopped me, though.

I log my exercises everyday - online and offline. I have only missed one day of working out in the past 11 days. That is pretty good considering during the last 2 weeks of the Shred I missed 6. The one day I took off this time was a much needed day of rest. I have decided to not push myself hard core every day. There is a reason for this - I have knee issues and if I keep pushing too hard I fear an injury that will have me sidelined.

I have done circuit training, step aerobics and other cardio. For the past week or so I have been doing a 20 minute strength training workout to target my arms and abs. I love it! But I think I mentioned it before.

I have worked out anywhere from 20 minutes to 85 minutes. I bought some quick workout downloads that run 20 minutes for days when I am sore from The Firm or when I am super busy and need something fast.

I am pretty proud of my workout schedule. I got into a slump there, but I saw the error of my ways and I moved on. I have found out that my workout buddy will be taking off near the end of March and that is when I will start up the Biggest Loser workouts for their 6 week program. I think by doing The Firm I am getting myself well prepared for that. I can't wait.

I am focusing on the positive and trying to make good choices when I eat (and drink) without forcing change on myself. Positive thinking can be great...right?

I'm so Lost

I really can not keep up this week with anything. My kids have been sick and I have been loaded down with work. I am doing good to just keep going.

I have gotten in working out. Not as much as I wanted. I started a new arm and ab workout in addition to my other workouts. It is killer and I love doing it, actually. I like to push myself. I do have to have rest in between, though, because it makes me so sore. I do it every other day. I have done The Firm a couple times and a quick step workout this week, too. I am doing good with my fitness.

I do not even want to talk about my diet. There is none. I have got to get it together or I will never lose weight. I realized that working out is really just keeping me from packing on the pounds. If I didn't work out I probably would have gained a ton of weight these past few months. I really hope I can find a way to kick myself in the butt and just stop drinking Pepsi. Like I've said, food is not my issue. I really do not eat excessively. It is the pepsi that is killing me.

At least I recognize my problem. Now I just have to do something about it.

Trying to Make Amends

I am trying to make up for my fall from grace. I did 75 minutes of cardio today plus some arm and ab work. I felt the need to push myself. It felt good, too. I am a little sore in the arms because I am doing such an advanced level with heavy weights and high reps, but it is a good hurt, you know.

I have been downloading workouts from ExerciseTV too. These are usually no more than 20 minutes. They are cheap too. I can combine a few. i really love their strength training workouts - they seem to push your body. I also love their cardio for a quickie workout in the evening. I know I always talk about them. I wish I could make money doing it -lol. Anyway, it is well worth checking out. I workout using my computer as a monitor more than using my DVD player and TV, so these workouts are perfect for me. You can burn them to a DVD, though, once you buy - legally. I have a new one I am downloaded now - a step aerobic one. Some days all I want is a quick step workout but all the ones I have are 45 minutes or more. This is a 20 minute and it looks fun!

Anyway, just throwing out ExerciseTV again for anyone who hasn't seen me talk about it before. They have free workouts, too. And seriously, I do not get paid to tell you about them - I just love ExerciseTV.tv.

To get more exposure I am thinking about joining some blog contests, so you may start to see some different content - it will still be centered arund losing weight, but you may see recipes for healthy foods, crafts for making new workout gear or something along those lines. It is something I am thinking about doing if I can get a free minute or two.

Better Mood

There is a perk to these The Firm workouts - you can choose a full length or quick workout for each one. I like that I can not use no time for working out because I have many options, from 20 minutes to 55 minutes. I can fit it in no matter what. That is a good thing because I start back to school tomorrow - getting my bachelors :)

As for the eating, I am going to stop trying to change my whole life at once. Diets do not work because they are too much to handle at once. Instead I am opting for working out more and making small changes in my diet. I know I went on and on about how working out really doesn't help you drop weight, but I am at the point now - after about 8 months of steady working out that I have built some great muscle and I would like to keep working on it. My arms and abs would be so hot if I lost the layer of fat over them!

The first few changes I want to focus on are using smaller plates, not eating everything on my plate (these two things were proven to work, check out neversaydiet.com to see the article)and cutting my Pepsi consumption. I tried cutting it down to only three a day, but that only made me really sad. So, with that said I want to try for 6. I know that is a lot but it is actually not very much compared to my usual day. I think 6 is doable. I need to increase my water anyway. I can not wait for warm weather to get here because then I actually crave water and not pepsi, so it would be easy to cut back then. I think that is why I gain over the winter months.

Anyway, that is the plan, man.

Bummed

Not only have I fallen off the wagon, but I am totally bummed. I should probably be banned from Googling. I have been researching losing weight and exercise and diet and all that crap. What I found bummed me out.

Pretty much the unanimous word is that exercising doesn't make you lose weight. I know, seems weird since all you hear is workout, workout, workout. Basically, if you do no exercise at all and just eat right you will lose weight just as well, if not more than someone who is exercising and dieting.

Basically, we are all busting our asses for no reason whatsoever. The real reason to exercise is just to get healthier. Not that it is a bad thing, but for those of us who just want to lose weight, wasting time stressing about exercise seems stupid.

No matter how "healthy" you get from exercising, if you are still fat then you are still unhealthy.

This whole crazy weight loss cycle is really bumming me out. No wonder I am so stressed and the scale has not budged since fall. Yes, you heard it right - no weight loss since September!!! That includes the 3 months I spent obsessing over every calorie and getting one and a half to two hours of cardio exercise per day.

I am about ready to throw in the towel and pronounce losing weight to be impossible.

There are just too many variables and it seems I can not get the right ones to work in my favor. Maybe I am genetically destined to be a fatty. Perhaps I should go right now and throw out all my skinny pants. Maybe I should just face facts.

I know everyone reaches this point in their weight loss journey. I know if I just get my butt in gear that I can get back on track. The true question I have here, though, is what will make me happier?

Living the life I want, enjoying the food I enjoy or being skinny?

I hate the idea of having to count every calorie until I die. I hate that I fear a can of Pepsi. I hate that I keep pulling muscles because I push myself so hard when I work out. I hate that my ass won't get any smaller no matter what I do, but that my boobs have no problem deflating.

AHHHHH!!!!!!!

Losing weight sucks.

Here are some links to prove my point about exercise:
http://consumerist.com/303880/exercise-doesnt-necessarily-make-you-lose-weight

http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2007/9/25/10120/4942

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/12/health/nutrition/12brody.html?ei=5090&pagewanted=all

http://nymag.com/news/sports/38001/

http://www.thefactsaboutfitness.com/articles/aerobicexercise.htm

I Fell Off the Wagon

I probably should not toot my own horn - ever. I fell off the wagon (metaphorically, not literally). I had a bad day with the Pepsi yesterday. I knew I should not have it in the house and if I did only in moderation. I didn't listen to my reasonable inner voice and I got myself in trouble.

I feel so bad. I feel like a puppy who peed on the carpet even though he knew it was wrong, but I just couldn't help myself.

Go ahead and smack me with a rolled up newspaper and rub my nose in some Pepsi (I will not refrain from trying to lick it up, though). I am bad.

Day 2, Start of Day 3

I didn't post yesterday because I simply forgot. It was another successful day of staying under calories and getting in good exercise. On Day 1 I ended up adding in a 40 minute cardio session at night that I think I didn't mention. Yesterday I did the 40 minutes of cardio, too.

I have to tell you about my proudest accomplishment. Day 1 I had 2 Pepsi's. Day 2 I had 4, BUT I learned a valuable lesson. Never, ever go over 3. It is just bad news. Now I know, so I have found my magic number to keep the cravings at bay and to prevent an all out total binge.

I have also learned something about myself. Not that I didn't know the Pepsi was bringing me down, but I realized that I have a good relationship with food. I am not really a bad eater. Generally the calories I actually eat are well within range. My major problem is the pop (pepsi, soda - whatever - for those of you not from the Mid West). If I can control it then I should have no trouble staying within my calorie range. That was kind of a good feeling.

I even learned I can eat at McD's and stay within calorie range. I can eat chocolate. I can eat basically what I want as long as I do not go over that 3 pop a day rule.

I didn't think it was really that simple. Imagine what I could do if one day I could give up pop completely? Maybe one day, but for now I am content with accomplishing 3 a day.

New Week, New Me

I did 2 workouts from The Firm today - a sculpting and a cardio. I only had 2 pepsi's. I am well within my calorie limits. I feel good now. I had a major energy slump around 5pm. I just felt so down and low. I rebounded by exercising, showering and eating dinner. It was good.

Day 1 down.

New Plan

I know I said I was going to try to get fit for free, but my workout bud and I went on a shopping spree and got a new workout. We are doing The Firm cardio weights. We are pumped. It looks fun. I love that there is the option to do a quick 25 minute workout or a longer one. We are going to get pumped up and slim.

We also are doing Slim Fast for our diet. I am also trying to give up pop which will be a challenge for me, but I think I can do it. Forgive any whiny posts I may make in the near future about how I missed my beloved beverage. It will be hard, but I know I can do it.

Here's to health and a slim future!

Fingers Crossed

This is not weight related but it is me related :) I have had my car since March of last year. Ever since I bought it I have noticed a grinding sound when turning right. Recently it has gotten worse. I can hear my brakes grinding and they are pulsating whenever I stop and the car shakes when braking. I took it to the mechanic and he said immediately he knows I need brakes. I am hoping that is all that needs done. He going to do it Wednesday and I hope he finds nothing else when he is down there. Please send me good vibes that my brakes are the only issue going on. I have heard so many other things from people - bearing, cv joint - and scary stories about how my wheel will fall off and I'll crash. I just want it to be the brakes - a pretty cheap fix even with the need for new rotors (yeah, I let it get that bad). I can only imagine how much worse it could be. If it ends up just being brakes then I will throw a happy-happy-joy-joy party. Wish me luck!